Three months

Juniper is three months old today.  I know I'm lucky to have had this long off of work to be with her, but I'm freaking out about going back in two weeks nonetheless.   I'm happy with the child care we have set up, but it's not making it easier for me.  I know it will be good to go back, and she will be just fine, but I'm having a hard time really convincing myself of that right now.  Thus, I'm expecting frequent emotional outbursts (from me, not from Juniper) for the next two weeks, so consider yourselves warned.  
Juniper got two presents today for her three month birthday: a wooden rattle and her Pc vaccine.  Guess which one she was more excited about?

Just kidding, she really does like the rattle, I think.
She is so funny right now.  We sat for about twenty minutes this afternoon and had a conversation, and during that conversation, pretty much everything that is frustrating about Juniper melted away and I was so happy to just be there with her.

Since I've been thinking abut going back to work, I've also been thinking about how fast this summer went by.  There were definitely times where each day felt like an eternity, but it really does feel like she was just born and now she's three months old and laughing and reaching for things and trying to sit up.  

I know she's out of focus, but the tongue jut cracks me up
Everyone tells you, but you don't fully absorb how fast it all goes.  My point is that I'm going to try and just be here with her for as long as I can.  It's too easy to rush it all, to feel like you should do certain things just because you should.  Like, she can ride in her stroller now, and there are times when having her in the stroller is awesome.  The stroller has built- in shade, it's not as hot as wearing her, etc., but last night the reality that she's getting heavier kind of hit me, and I kind of think I'm going to go back to wearing her more for walks as long as I can.  Its not really a matter of if not now, when, but rather if not now, never.  We also put her to bed in her crib two nights ago, and it went really well for Juniper.  For me, not so much.  But, I felt like I should put her to bed in the crib if I can, so I did again last night.  You know what though, friends? I don't totally like her sleeping in her crib.  I really don't like getting up to feed her, and I like less how clingy she was yesterday (after sleeping the whole night in the crib), and how when I brought her to bed at about 3am last night that she snuggled so close to me she was in my armpit, and how when I got up she spun herself sideways in the bed trying to snuggle up to a mama who wasn't in bed anymore.  I like the snuggles, but I didn't like how desperate for them she seemed to be.  So maybe just because she can sleep in her crib or ride in her stroller doesn't mean that she should just yet, at least not all the time.
For now though, happy 3rd moon, Juniper!

12 pounds, 13 ounces
23 3/4 inches long (when will I start saying tall, I wonder)
She still rolls over, but not as much now that she is bigger, and she just started this week grabbing and holding on to toys.  
She laughs, she smiles, she screams!


  1. What a lovely little girl you have! That last photo is perfect, I love it. Best of luck going back to work. I can't imagine what that must feel like, but I'm sure you will find balance.