9 Months and Cosmic Changes

Yesterday we went out to lunch.  As we were sitting there, Daniel and I started talking about how big Juniper seems all of a sudden.  Not so much size-wise, but more in the way she interacts with the world.  She is moving from just figuring out herself, to figuring out how she fits in the world around her.  When she was smaller, she would happily play independently for very long periods of time, regardless of where we were in the house.  Now, she wants to be near us, she wants to know where we are, and, usually, she wants to be right next to us.  She still plays independently, but for shorter periods of time, and she is more distracted by what is going on around her.  I think she now realizes how big the world is and how small she is.  She is more conscious of her need to feel safe and secure.  She understands that we provide security, and she notices when we aren't right there.  

I know this sounds a little out there, but I think (and I'm pretty sure Maria Montessori supports me on the this one) that she is going through a cosmic change.  She's now been out 9+months, longer than she was in.  Each passing minute, this world is more familiar to her than the one she knew when she was inside of me. The invisible thread that connects us is getting longer and finer as she moves into becoming a more independent being.  This is where separation anxiety comes in to play.  She is struggling with her new freedom and independence.  She understands more about the world around her, she can (sort of) crawl and move around where she wants to, she is discovering limits.  

All of this compounds to mean that my little baby isn't so little anymore.  She has always been alert, but she takes in everything more completely now.  She takes joy in new experiences, not just because they are novel, but because of the things that are happening.  The cold of snow on her face, the way the top of a hanger spins around, the air from the heating vents blowing her hair, the feel of snow melt dripping from the roof on her fingers. The world is so vast and scary, but at the same time full of marvels.  It's exciting.  It's exhausting.  It's pretty cosmic.  

Jump in

Well, after all that talking about it, I threw caution to the wind, went with my gut, and gave Juniper some avocado.

I don’t think love is even strong enough of a word for how she felt about it. She dove for the spoon. She smacked her lips with glee. The whole thing was very entertaining.

Then, after two days of avocado, we gave her sweet potato. Mind blown! Sweet potato made avocado look like the proverbial brussel sprout.

It’s amazing how after just two times with the spoon, she already is learning how to get the food off of it more easily.

We also tried practicing with the weaning glass. It proved to be more difficult, but mostly because she gets so excited to try and drink from it that she sort of launches herself at the glass, so it’s hard to try and help get the water in her mouth.

I'm glad we went for it.  She is really just having tastes when it comes down to it.  She is probably eating about a teaspoon or two of food total, and she nurses a normal for her amount when she is finished, but man does she seem to love it.  She gets super excited when we sit her in her high chair and set the table for her.  We ordered a Montessori weaning table for her, and we'll start using that instead of the high chair when it gets here next week. 

Yum.

To Wean or Not to Wean?

The subject of Montessori weaning is pretty hotly debated.  In its true form, Montessori weaning begins at 2-3 months with the introduction of fresh juices and continues on with the introduction of solids at 4 months.  My first thoughts on the matter were that that is way too early, and the whole juice thing doesn’t really fly with me, but lately I've been changing my tune a bit.  

At our four month well visit, without any prompting from me, our pediatrician told us that the AAP changed its recommendations about when to start solids and what to feed baby when you do start solids.  They've changed things from waiting on solids until 6 months and common allergenic foods even longer, to introducing solids at 4 months being okay and there are now no limitations on allergenic foods.  I knew we didn't want to do any rice cereal with Juniper, so I kind of thought we had to wait until six months when we could start with purees, but this got me thinking.  Hmmmm. 

There is so much debate about Montessori weaning, and on the introduction of solids in general, because of the whole ‘virgin gut’ idea.  Basically, the lining of a baby’s gut is permeable to allow the antibodies present in breastmilk through to the baby’s bloodstream.  It’s a perfect system except that the permeable gut also allows potential allergens through to the baby’s bloodstream, making it possible, in theory for food sensitivity to occur.  There is also a lot of talk about how it is natural to nurse an infant for two or three years, and how we introduce solid food too early now.  But. 

But, my baby is showing an increased interest in food now.  I know some people say that babies are interested in everything that you are doing and want to do it too, but I don’t feel that is what is going on with Juniper.  When she sits at meals with us, she tracks my spoon or fork from my bowl, to my mouth, and back again.  She has even opened her mouth a few times.  The girl wants to eat.  I’ve been hiding behind the virgin gut theory and saying that I will wait until at least six months to offer solids.  But, if I’d never read a study (like a primitive mama wouldn’t have) I probably would have offered her a bit of food already. So, I don’t know that I buy the whole babies weren’t intended to eat real food for a long time argument, because I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't over-educated on the topic Juniper would already be snacking on real food. 

For me?

So what’s stopping me?  Well, I guess that is a good question.  My own emotions and needs are stopping me, and it is very un-Montessorian of me.  What would be best for Juniper’s development, I think, would be to offer her some food.  For mama, though, it’s not that simple.  Being back at work has been really, really hard for me (like insanely hard, but that's another post for another day).  It’s not really getting any easier either.  Nursing is one thing that I can do that no one else can do for Juniper, and I like that.  I like that time together, I even like it in the middle of the night, and I am scared of losing that connection.  It might be that exclusively breastfeeding Juniper is meeting my needs more than hers now.  I’m not saying that we’ll stop nursing, just that it might be time to give some food in addition.  She might hate it, but I think that it’s up to her to find out. 

Montessori Madness: The Floor Bed

The other morning I walked into Juniper’s room to find this:

A true Montessori moment.  If you google for images of floor beds, you come across a lot of pictures like this, so I was expecting it, but it was a little weird.  Juniper has been rolling over in her sleep a lot lately.  Usually she cries, and I go in to find her playing superman on her belly, unable to turn back over to go to sleep.  I guess since she’s always slept on her back, and played on her tummy, she doesn’t realize that sleep can happen on her belly too.  Until two days ago. 

This wasn’t the first time I’ve found her in a strange place, but it was the first time that she’d still been asleep.  My first instinct was to go in and turn her back over (or at the very least re-position her so that all of her body was on the mattress), and probably if had been the middle of the night I would have.  But since it was 6am, and I knew she’d be up for the day in the next hour, I left her.  About a half hour later she started squirming around so I moved her back onto the bed on her back and she slept for a little longer that way. 

It probably seems a little weird to leave a baby in an awkward position, but I do think that is all part of using a floor bed.  You’re letting the child figure out how to move around, and also letting them feel that they have power over their own body.  She was sleeping peacefully in her awkward position, so why move her?  Once she wasn’t happy anymore, and she wasn’t able to get to a comfortable position on her own, I stepped in and helped her out.  As with all the Montessori works, it’s all about finding that fine balance between letting the child work independently (and possibly struggle) without letting her get too frustrated.  If frustration (as opposed to a little struggle to accomplish something) sets in, then learning stops. 

So, I guess you could say that the floor bed is working out for us.  Juniper seems to prefer it to her crib, and I prefer it to her crib (I can still lay down to nurse her in the night and pretend that I am still asleep).  Granted, she isn’t crawling yet, so that may throw a wrench in things, but we’ll see.  I’m actually looking forward to her being able to crawl to her sleep space when she is tired (this is the floor bed in practice ideal, but I realize that it may not happen).  We haven’t gotten rid the crib yet, it’s just in the basement in case we decide we need it in a few months, but for now I’m sold.  

Montessori Madness: The Hanging Toys

 I'm pretty sure if Maria Montessori were still alive I would follow her around like a groupie.  I pretty much believe in her total philosophy totally.  There is no "this is great, but...."  There is no "but," it's all great.

We've moved on from the mobiles to the hanging toys (though Juniper does have the dancer mobile hanging over her bed now).  A great idea in my mind because they replace something that is hideous and not helpful (ADD machines activity gyms) with something that's not hideous and is helpful.  Amazing. We got this one for Juniper.  Kind of wish that we'd seen this tipi one earlier because you can turn it into a fort later, but the one we have works great.
Juniper started playing with the hanging toys about a month ago.  We started with a bell hung on a strip of ribbon.  I started with the bell because I figured hearing it ring when she hit it accidentally would help her learn that her actions cause things to happen.  

It went well with the bell so I tried the wooden ring and she seemed to like that too.  I was all ready to post singing the praises of the hanging toys, and then she kind of lost interest.  Hmmm. 
Then a day or so ago I hung the wooden ring lower and it was like a lightbulb went on. Juniper is a wooden ring grabbing fool.  You sit peacefully with her in your lap, and she stares over at the toy arch building resentment for her teenage years.  

She is obsessed.  Obsessed, friends,  with a simple, wooden ring hung from a piece of ribbon (I did get crazy and add the elastic).

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

This week has been pretty rough with going back to work and having to leave Juniper.  I won't go into my diatribe on how it is no good the way our modern economic system pretty much requires you to be a double-income family, or how ridiculous it is that we do not have year-long maternity leave in this country, but know that each of those things are both no good and ridiculous.  Instead I offer you:

{pretty}

The hummingbird mint is doing so well in the garden, and has managed (unlike some of its other plant friends, ahem) to not become a midnight snack for the deer

{happy}

I went back to work this week, which was decidedly not happy, but this picture is from Monday, the day before I went back to work, so it is happy

{funny}

The best part about the floor bed is seeing all the interesting positions Juniper gets herself into.  Why use the full expanse of the bed when you can snuggle with the wall?  

Here, Juniper offers her explanation on the wonders of wall-snuggling.  Well, you see...

{real}

The deer in our neighborhood have spread the word that our yard offers up an excellent salad bar.  I woke up the other night and could smell basil so intensely, so intensely I tell you, that I made Daniel get up to check and see if the deer were nibbling on the basil growing on our deck (Daniel: "Margaret, the deer didn't come up on the deck. We would have heard their hooves." Margaret: "But all I smell is basil, BASIL")   Nope, basil was all fine, the mint on the side of the house, on the other hand, was being enjoyed by Bambi's mom.  She also enjoyed some baby lacinato kale.    I wonder if she needed to cleanse her palate after the kale or before? I also obviously really need to learn the difference in scent between mint and basil.  Sigh.  

Montessori Madness

I believe that all human beings are born with the capacity for focus and attention. We all know that feeling when we are happily absorbed in a task that is not too difficult, yet not too easy: we become relaxed, confident and feel purposeful.  I think human beings crave that feeling and crave those tasks which help us to feel that way, but I think in our society we get farther and farther away from a lifestyle which facilitates those tasks and behaviors in favor of tasks which do not fully require our attention and that do not make us feel purposeful.  It's the difference between the way I feel after a few hours of sewing versus a few hours of internet surfing.  Or the way I feel after reading a good book versus the way I feel after watching junk television (ahem, Jersey Shore).  


I went to Montessori school from preschool through sixth grade, and seeing as I turned out okay, I am a Montessori devotee.  There is a lot of confusion about Montessori philosophy out there, and for anyone interested I would highly recommend reading Montessori from the Start.  In my experience, I've found that people erroneously lump Montessori schools together with other 'alternative' schools, or with Waldorf schools.  Montessori philosophy, in its true form, is about helping the child to become an independent being.  It is not about forcing independence on the child before she is ready, nor is it an indulgent practice where the adult bends to every whim of the child, nor do children not learn reading and math in Montessori schools.  I'm not sure where these ideas about Montessori philosophy came from, but I hear them frequently, and they are untrue.  

Looking at Panda.  Montessori also advocates giving the child things to look at and interact with that represent the real world.  The panda card is an example of what to do, the quilt J is laying on is an example of what not to do.  

One of the things that continues to astound me about Maria Montessori's work is how her ideas just keep getting proven by modern science or reinvented as new ideas.  Montessori believed that the infant has capacity to maintain attention for long periods of time, and that the capacity for attention in humans is formed in infancy.  With the prevalence of ADHD in our society coupled with the prevalence of inane noisemaking, flashing, crinkling toys for infants and children I have to say that I think she was likely on to something.  The more recent book by Gabor Mate, Scattered, makes a similar case.  Montessori philosophy basically advocates for fostering attention in the infant.  There are many components of this, but the first step is through a series of specifically designed mobiles that are introduced to the infant at birth and are rotated through the first four months of life. 

 The first mobile presented to the infant is the Munari mobile (mentioned here).  I got all of my mobiles from etsy and they came with all of the components, but needed to be assembled.  Set aside your entire pregnancy at least a few hours to put them together because the directions for how all the pieces need to hang are very specific and they need to be bealanced.   The Munari consists of black and white geometric forms and a clear sphere.  Juniper started looking at the Munari mobile when she was just a few days old.  At first she was really just interested in the shadows the mobile cast on the wall, but as she got older she became fascinated with the mobile itself.  After two weeks, so when Juniper was three weeks old, I switched the mobiles and introduced the octahedron to Juniper.  

J at about 3 weeks old

At a little older

The octahedron mobile is made of three octahedrons made of blue, yellow, and red metallic paper. Juniper was not as interested in this mobile initially and spent a lot of time mostly looking at her black and white cards, so she only spent about a week with it before I went back to the Munari.  Then after another week or so we went back to the octahedron and she was much more into it. 

At 6 weeks

 At about eight weeks I reintroduced the Munari mobile.  The really cool thing was that she finally noticed the clear sphere in the mobile, and I could see in practice why you are supposed to rotate and reintroduce the mobiles about every two weeks: after some time away from a mobile, Juniper seems to notice new things when she sees it again.

Just last week I tried out the Gobbi mobile, which is five thread wrapped orbs that go in a gradual gradient from light to dark, and she was not into it at all.  Either it wasn't super interesting to her, or she couldn't see it very well, so I took it away for a few days.  I was floored when I tried again just three or four days later.  She loved it.  Like, I've not seen her so into something ever really.  For a solid 30 minutes she just stared at it, babbled at it, breathed excitedly at it, and when I thought she was kind of done and picked her up, she squawked at me until I put her down where she could see it again.  

10 weeks

The mirror that you see in the photos is a pretty key component as well because it enables Juniper to see the mobiles while she is on her belly in addition to allowing her to track her own movements.  

Obviously I have no way of knowing how much the mobiles have impacted her, and I won't ever know if they made a difference in her development, but I do know that she is really alert and will focus on our faces or on her mobiles for a pretty long time.  

In addition to encouraging focus and attention, the mobiles also expose the infant to geometric forms and to aesthetic ideas such as balance and color gradients.  I like that she is looking at things that are beautiful and well-designed as opposed to looking at plastic toys dangling from a play gym.  

When shots are the least of my worries

Yesterday, Juniper had her two month well baby visit.  I'm not sure what I was expecting from the pediatrician since doctors really don't know much about lymphedema, but I ended up getting my feelings a little hurt bent out of shape.  

When Juniper was a newborn, I always had black and white Montessori cards in my diaper bag so that I could encourage her to 'practice her attention.'  Now all that's in my diaper bag is 15 pounds of cloth diapers and larabar wrappers, so there is not so much of the 'attention practicing' happening in the peach-walled office for 45 freaking minutes.  This is Juniper saying "Where is my Hello Animals book Mom? And why does Dad alway have that black box attached to his hand?  Hi Dad! Do you have my Hello Animals book?  Do you know why there aren't any pictures in here or anything that is remotely interesting for me to look at?  Why? Why?"

I should back up a little and explain that primary lymphedema is the result of a gene mutation, but there are a couple of ways that this mutation presents itself.  The first is called Milroy's disease, which is basically the name given to the gene mutation that causes just the lymphedema.  The second is called Noonan syndrome which is where the gene mutation causes lymphedema along with a host of other health and learning issues.  I know that every parent believes that her child is brilliant, and I am no exception to that rule, but I know in my heart that there is nothing seriously wrong with her beyond the lymphedema.  In reality, I know that Juniper may not be the smartest kid in her class, but kids that are affected by lymphedema, from what I have learned through some online parent groups, are "normal" in every other way.  Noonan syndrome is a whole other thing entirely because lymphedema is basically just one marker of the disorder which consists of many other problems.  
The fact that doctors don't know too much about lymphedema is, in my opinion, probably due to the western model of medicine not liking things that are not 100% scientifically reasoned.  I mean, a quarter of the treatment of lymphedema is massage; not exactly your standard western treatment of care.  Lymphedema doesn't fit in a neat little box that can be fixed the same way, each time, for each person.  It is different for everyone and can change based on the weather, on hormones, on altitude, and just because.  

At San Onofre.  Dad surfed, Mom didn't because a) I forgot my beach bag with my bathing suit at home (yes, I forgot my beach bag when the plan was for us to go to the beach) and b) there was actually some swell in the water and after about 11 months of not surfing I am a wuss.  

So when our pediatrician brought up Noonan syndrome, I prickled.  Then when she told us that Juniper's head was on the small side , and that she'd check and see if that was something related to the lymphedema, I worried. (Any of you that know Daniel know that he has what I affectionately refer to as a pinhead.  My whole pregnancy I hoped that baby would inherit D's tiny head to make my life easier.  Obviously, J has her Daddy's little head and I need to get mine on straight instead of worrying about baby growth charts.  Hindsight, friends.)  And when, at the end of the appointment, she said something along the lines of Juniper 'doing as much as she is able to do.' I got upset.  I didn't cry in the office or anything, but I let it get to me.  D says I need to get a thicker skin because people will probably say much worse about and to Juniper her whole life.  I know he's right, but man is that mama bear instinct strong, I just want to freak out on anyone who thinks that my baby isn't just like every other kid (or at anyone who thinks my baby is just like every other kid).  

This is what practicing attention looks like.  She's talking to her munari mobile

And I thought that her getting a shot would be the worst part of the visit.